Taming of the Scrooge (Christmas in Korea) [Travelogue]

drink up with me now,

forget all about,

the pressure of days,

do what I say,

and I’ll make you okay.

The celebration of the zombie Jesus for me was a mild one to say the least.  While eventful, it was unabashedly frivolous and coated with loneliness.  That’s not to say that it was all bad.  It certainly was eventful in some manners.  I awoke Christmas Eve around 1 in the afternoon after coming home from work around 7 a.m.  My head spun from tiredness and the three glasses of Riesling I had for breakfast.  But, overall I felt pretty energetic and ready to proceed with the day’s events.  The day’s events I had thought were going to happen actually turned out to be false.  I had thought that my beloved VFW was having a dinner during the day.  A dinner I was sure I would be late for, and be of no use to the volunteers involved.  As fate would have it, I was a day off.  Therefore, I would actually be in all accordance with lending my own hand to the celebration of the birth of a Christ I could never believe in.  But more of that to come.

With everything disarranged and disjointed, Christmas Eve almost became a pretty average night.  I played a few solo rounds of pool at the VFW.  And I was on a roll!  I felt as though I might be ready to actively compete in the upcoming pool and dart leagues coming our way soon.  I guess we will see what comes of the months to come.  But eventually my old pal Whitey finally showed up and we rejoiced in a couple of bottles of soju and storytelling before we headed out of the good old V and headed to a Christmas Eve party that Whitey ensure would be a pure a utter delight.  And I have to say, he was absolutely right.  If I can’t be with my beautiful family on such a ridiculous gathering, I am happy that I got to spend it with some very fun and adjective unknown worthy folks.

Whitey had always been rambling on about a bar that he tended to pass through for one final night cap before he headed to his apartment simply called, Song’s.  But, I had yet to stop by these place, and frankly I am mad at this man for not having me there sooner.  For I ended up spending my Christmas Eve night in a weird oblivion caught somewhere between confusion and utter bliss.  I met a very small family that owned Song’s Bar, and an unpronounceable titled restaurant next door.  We met in a small room in the back of the both, and we laughed, drank, and ate merrily.  Whitey had been a bit too late in having us come around, so the main meal was done and complete, but we still manage to eat like white trash kings.  Mr. Song, and Mama Song (the grandmother) manage to roll out fresh sizzling dishes of some very weird bar oriented foods.  There was a combination of ground hamburger and hotdogs on a hot skillet, mixed with some incredible spices that make American bar good sound even twice as terrible as it really is.  Following that we were served a great helping of what would basically be considered “doctored up Ramen noodles”.  It was indeed the same noodles made famous by college students and hobos living in studio apartments in San Francisco and Fresno, but it had a delightful kick to it that can not be truly explained in writing.  I know that so many Americans feel as though they know how to doctor up Ramen to make it amazing, but none of you can do it like this.  This is a true spectacle of Korea.  They can take nothing, and make it not just something, but something beautiful.  And, of  course, there was kimchi.  And dammit to I love kimchi.  But, after a few bottles of soju, it was time to say goodnight, and we parted ways.  I headed back to my dorm room with my bootleg copy of the adaptation of one of my favorite books, all the way to film, On The Road, and a bottle of soju stuffed in my back pocket.  Whitey headed to his own dream land, and the words were spoken.

Before even heading to sleep, I learned that my internet connection had completely ate shit.  And as you all might guess, I was immediately sent into a state of panic.  I awoke with the same disastrous notifications, but knew there was nothing I could do about it at that time.  I knew I had to get down to the VFW to try to lend a hand.  I ended up being able to speak with my family whilst stealing Wi-Fi from a nearby community center, and surprisingly enough the old heads down at the VFW actually have wireless internet!  I honestly was not expecting that!  And the dinner went really well.  Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners are the only days of the year that the VFW becomes a non smoking area.  That alone shows how serious they are about their holiday dinners.  There were children running around, conversations all about, beer glasses clinking and clanking, and a spread of all of your tradition holiday grub.  A couple of turkeys, a half a dozen hams, and all of the fixings, shoveled of paper plates, spilling in and out of mouths on to graying beards in some cases.  Yes, it was a pretty traditional American Christmas here in the land of the morning calm.  Of course, seeing all the young children and happy families sort of made me, well, homesick to my god damn stomach.  I opted for a few bottles of coke and decided to head out early, as I had to work the next day, and I was really feeling like a total Scrooge.

spread at the VFW

But, overall it was not a bad time.  As I stated before, I am not really a holiday person.  And I especially loathe this time of year when I am away from my family.  But, I couldn’t let it get me entirely down.  I still managed to laugh a little bit, and share a good time with the people I dig the most around here.  Yet, I am very thankful it is all over.  It’s been a long december, a wise man once said.  But, he also said there’s reason to believe that this year will be better than the last.  And I certainly believe it shall.  But, until then, onward with the Korean express.  Until next time……..

Exci(Settle)ment in Songtan [Travelogue]

With a month into my stay here in South Korea, I dare say most of the time has been wasted.  But, “wasted” might be a harsh term.  Although I have yet to travel too far out into the vast lands and many spectacles available in this country, I have indeed settled in quite nice here in the first month.  I’ve gotten to know the Americanized strip along Songtan, but like many people around here, I have chosen my watering holes and pretty much limit myself to certain particular places.  But unlike many of the foreigners around here, no places I frequent are not blaring out the latest Lil Wayne dance craze to entice passer buyers or filled with scantily clad Juicys wanting you to spend 20,000 won (18 dollars give or take) on a drink just for you to talk to them.  No, as I have stated before – The VFW, The Dawg Pound (the CE oriented joint), and for a wild card, a place called The Free Zone (which is finely bartended by the same gentleman who you can find at the VFW).  My wonderings around the city and base have eased up a bit because, well……it is freaking cold!

A couple of days ago, that devilish white powder began falling from the sky and a ridiculously rampant page.  I had arrived home at 7 a.m. from work, settled into my bed with a Netflix documentary on the drummer of Hole and nice glass of gin and orange juice, only to wake up several hours later to see the entire place blanketed in the filthy white mongrel sperm known as snow.  Now, I don’t particularly “hate” snow, I simply wish it only existed in regions of the world I will never live in, or even have to pass through in.  Whilst spending much of my time in the Northwest, I learned to endure the rain.  In fact, I manage to love and appreciate it.  I would still take a weekend in Manzanita on the Oregon Coast in February, over a week in the Jersey Shore or Miami Beach, places I can only imagine reek of fake bronzer, rotten silicone, and regret.  No, I like the dreariness.  It’s real to me.  But, this snow stuff is for the birds.  I spent 5 years in the desolate midwest, and 3 years in Eastern Washington (which everyone forgets is just a damn gaggle of prairie lands for the most part)….I want it gone!  Although I am definitely more fortunate now that I throw away all my blue collar shirts and am now a hack who sits in front of a computer watching YouTube videos of cats and answering phone calls from people I don’t care to talk to.  Unlike my first 8 years where I can clearly wishing death upon myself if it meant putting an end to the ridiculous frost bite my face was feeling at the time.  That sort of cold that does absolutely nothing but piss you off.

Rosie.

But, alas, I can manage.  It’s a cold walk in the mornings going either to or from work, depending on the schedule, but I have managed to make it work.  And I still have managed to make it down to The Dawg Pound and VFW (it was my one day off!  I’m going somewhere) to have a few OB Drafts or a couple of Korean Sunrises and to visit my girl Rosie.  Rosie being the sweetest pit bull you can ever know.  The bartender and owner of The Dawg Pound, an American named Max, began brining this precious little girl, who fits easily on a bar stool, around and we have started to bond.  And by bond I mean I always try to bring a pocket full of this disgusting to humans, but lovely for dogs, Korean beef(?) jerky (insert cannibalism joke here) and we are the best of friends for a few minutes.  These are the things I do to pass the time.  I feed dogs to dogs.  Whatever.

Although I do try to partake in as much activity as I can, I would be lying if I didn’t say I spent most of my time sitting in my room watching obscure documentaries about things that probably a dozen people in the world care about, watching my reoccurring TV shows (Can you believe the end of SOA?), and, most importantly, talking to my wife and kids via Skype.  The moments I get to see them are the best times here.  And since I work such an odd schedule, sometimes I get to talk for a very very long time.  Today was actually only the second time since I have been here that I have not gotten to see at least my wife’s beautiful face via Skype.  And let me tell you this….it sucks!  I can hardly wonder how it was so many years ago when I was lucky to get a phone call a day, and a few pictures every other week or so.  Such primitivism!!!  Alas, I am thankful for the communication I do have, and at times it really does feel like I am sitting back in that living room in Spokane that I love so much, with the people I love so much.  Almost, but not quite.

Whitey and I enjoying a freaked black and mild at the VFW.

Beyond this, there is very little to report.  My dear friend around here, Whitey is soon be out of here at the end of December, and unlike I would be, he is seriously depressed about it.  He would love nothing more than to stay in this land for the rest of his life, and I will not be surprised to hear that he will be a permanent resident in the coming years.  So, I have been roaming from the V to Dawg Pound with this guy for the last month, and will continue to do so until he leaves.  But, when he leaves, he has left a trail of fine friends who have graciously taken me under their wing.  I’ve even subbed in for a couple of games of pool during the league (which is crazy intense and popular around here!) and sort of got the itch to join a league after a spot was offered to me (even though my official winning percentage is 0%), and I might just do it (stay tuned!).  I’m starting to become a bit more comfortable with my new job, and feel as though I could handle working there for another 11 months, and truly enjoy all the people I work alongside.  I feel as though I am going to make it, folks.  In the near future, when it’s not so damn cold, I will definitely be making some trips to Seoul, The DMZ, several museums, possibly Guam (when Melissa flies in), heading back to Longview, Washington (possibly for my 10 year High School reunion, ugh), and wherever I may find myself throughout 2013.  Basically I promise that the Travelogue sections of Trainwreck’d Society are definitely going to become more interesting.  Well, I can hope anyway.  I guess we will have to wait and see.  Until then…..

Anyoung he Kay Ship She Yo!