Death Machines of Death by Vince Kramer [Book]

Death Machines of DeathAll machines suddenly come to life for some reason and go on a rampage to kill every human being on the planet. It’s kind of like that movieMaximum Overdrive, only ten time as fucking brutal!

Welcome to the Big Old Gaylord Opryland Resort! Do you lack the energy to get a date? Are you batshit insane and looking for a cure? Are you a pants-shitting senior who wants to stop being old? Do you hate Stephen King? Then, this weekend, there’s a seminar for you! Sure, there’s a comet flying through space bringing all machinery to life and killing everybody, but don’t worry about that! Here, have a sandwich! Visit our many attractions! See our massive convention center (of death), our beautiful atrium (of death), and our arcade (of death)! Ignore the massive senior citizen orgy. Don’t talk to the kid in the wheelchair. We guarantee the elevator will not transform you into a cyborg. Mr. Coffee isn’t trying to kill you. And there is absolutely nothing suspicious going on in the basement. (Don’t go down there though, seriously).

Take a load off, have a good time, and prepare to die!

Death Machines of Death is an apocalyptic horror comedy by Vince Kramer that just so happens to be a million times better than anything you’ve ever read before. And if you think for one minute that those boring literary classics like The Great Gatsby or Moby Dick are better than this, then you’re fucking stupid!



What the hell really needs to be said about this book?  The motherfucker is called Death Machines of Death!!!  How cool is that shit right there?  With a title likes this, there is absolutely no chance in hell that this isn’t going to be fantastic, which is most definitely is.  I don’t know if I have literally laughed out loud whilst reading a book like I did when I was reading this one.  It is hilarious, it is gruesome, it is just so much fun!  It’s like Maximum Overdrive for the rest of us, the ones who veer towards the absurdity over the thrills.  And I truly believe that if Vince Kramer had decided to veer from is incredibly unique style of bizarro narrative, it really would have been pretty boring.  But, with Vince Kramer behind the keypad, boredom is something you will never have to worry about.

Vince KramerI have not quite entirely explored the world of Bizarro fiction, but I do find it absolutely intriguing.  Of all the titles I have noticed, it seems to be an absolutely fascinating take on the world of fantasy and science fiction.  And in my own personal opinion, makes it not so god damned boring.  In Kramer’s work alone, there is no reasoning and explanations for such bizarre shit to happen such as a gaggle of masturbating senior citizens or bowie knife swindling Jesus.  It just happens!  And it is awesome!  Say what you will about this strange style of writing, but even Stephen King could never hold my attention this well.  Just have some fun with this shit people!

Loyal readers of TWS may remember Vince Kramer from a Guest Wreckers feature we posted last year about Pornographic Action Figure Erotica (Noobs- please report here, and get on our level, maggots).  And just as he can do with toys, Vince uses his words the make the obscure and deranged just a shitload of fun.  Last year I also introduced myself to his work with his debut novel Gigantic Death Worm, which I also highly recommend.  Both of Kramer’s books are short in nature, but cram packed with excitement and hilarity.  To put it simply, Vince Kramer creates some of the tastiest junk food for the brain you will ever taste.

Pick up your own copy of Death Machines of Death at AMAZON.  And while you are there, find Gigantic Death Worm.  Get them both because, once you finish one, you are definitely going to be begging for more, you truly sick son of a bitch.


Note: 2014 is the first year for book reviews at Trainwreck’d Society. We will be making a valiant effort to read and review at least 100 books. This is review #13. Be sure to stay in touch and be on the lookout for further reviews throughout 2014. Be sure to let us know if we are falling behind. For a complete list of book reviews, click HERE. Enjoy!

Dan Frank [Interview]

Dan FrankEach and every day I become more and more intrigued by the immense creativity and talent that exists, even in places I would never expect to find.  For example: I am searching the YouTube universe for instructions on how to make some cocktails, as I often do.  And what should I stumble upon but some promotional videos for something called Bikini Kitchen, which features adult film stars instructing the viewer on how to make delicious cocktails, smoothies, etc.  The first thing I could think of was simply, what the hell?  How did this become a thing?  And my inquisitive spirit took hold and I completely forgot about the cocktails I was looking to make.  Instead, I moved on over to IMDB and looked into the series.  What, or should say Who, I discovered was definitely not what I was expecting.

Bikini Kitchen was developed and directed by a man named Dan Frank.  And before you start to think that Mr. Frank is some sort of exploitive mastermind (which he sort of is I guess), hold that thought.  I began to look into Dan’s career a bit further and found him to be a truly fascinating filmmaker who has worked in so many different realms in the world of filmmaking.  As a music lover, I became fascinated with a project he has in development entitled Coachella Massacre (please let Arcade Fire be the headliner and first to go!!!) and an adorable and intriguing documentary entitled Frank & Chip: The Olympic Experience.  And then there is yet another documentary about medical marijuana.  All of these things, and more, from a guy I thought had his world revolve around scantly clad women making him dirty martinis.  It just goes to show that you never know somebody until you really get to know them and what they are about.

So I decided I would love to get to know Dan Frank a little bit more.  And I will be a son of a bastard priest if I didn’t find out even more intriguing details about this extremely talented filmmaker when he was so kind to answer a few questions for us.  So ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to introduce the illustrious Dan Frank.


Your work as a director for the series Bikini Kitchen is a bit of a stray from some of your other work. How did you become involved with this series?

In the spring of 2008, my documentary Medicinal was screening at Festival de Cannes in the market. Someone hypothetically asked me what I would make for the Food Network for a young male demographic… so jokingly, I came up with Bikini Kitchen. Next thing I knew, Tom Hillery from Starlights Productions had invested enough money for us to make 26 episodes. I had already worked with Mimi Miyagi in both Devil’s Canyon and Little Bruno. I thought the idea of an adult star making drinks was very sexy, and it would attract a younger demographic. Stormy Daniels was awesome and great to work with.

You have worked hand in hand with writer Daniel Calestina on several different projects. What is it that you enjoy about working with Mr. Calestina? What makes things work for you two?

My real name is Daniel Frank Celestina. In 1996, I was DJing at raves and clubs in San Francisco under the name Dan Frank. When I decided to become a director, the name just stuck with me. After I made my first movie, It’s All In A Night’s Work, I decided to put my real name on anything that had to do with ownership, like writing and executive producing.

Dan Frank2How did you come across the stars of Frank & Chip: The Olympic Experience? And what intrigued you enough to make a film about them?
Frank & Chip: the Olympic Experience is about my grandparents, who lived during The Great Depression and went on to do great things. Other than wanting to honor my grandparents for being one of the first married couples to participate in the same Olympics, I was in the middle of my own “Great Depression.” I hit rock bottom on a bad investment at the wrong time. I had to completely start over. So just as my grandparents utilized their talents during the Great Depression to achieve greater things, I needed to do the same. Something I said over and over to myself was, “Why can’t I?” 
In 1983, my sister made a scrapbook about my grandparents, so I grew up thinking about making that movie from the age of 8. This was the movie that made me truly want to become a filmmaker. I started putting Frank & Chip together in 2009, and I finished it in April of 2012.

If you could create the biopic for any famous individual in American history, who would it be?

Well, it’s funny you ask that. I just finished Speed Dragon, starring Bai Ling, which is a rock ‘n’ roll drama. I really love music, history and anything that has to do with counter-culture… and so I am currently in the very early stages of development of my next biopic. It is a rock ‘n’ roll love story. At AFM in November of 2013, I met Ashley Cordelia, an actress and writer who came to me with the idea of a love story about a famous rock and roll couple from the 1960s. Instantly, I knew it was a brilliant idea. A love story about one of the most influential counter-culture couples of all time was absolutely the next thing I wanted to tackle… and after two months, we finished the screenplay. We are just waiting for the copyright to go through before we move forward. I’ve always been into counter-culture, and I’ve always made sure to express it in everything one of my movies. Long live classic rock!

I have come to understand that you have a project in pre-production entitled Coachella Massacre. Can you give us any details about this project?

On January 1st, 2013, we lost a major contributor to the Coachella Massacre producing team. Matt Calonica, one of my best friends and producer-mate, died suddenly of a heart attack. It was the most devastating loss of my life. I miss him everyday. Matt helped produce all my movies from 2005 and on. Things started to spiral out of control a little bit, so I decided to put everything on hold. Over the past year, I decided to not direct Coachella Massacre and rather to find the perfect director to do so. While I was at the Texas Film Awards, I met the agent of an actor who wants to direct it, and we are currently discussing and working out the details. So it will be on it’s way again very soon.

Anything else we should be on the lookout for in the near future? Anything you would like to promote?

In 2013, Speed Dragon, a rock n roll drama starring Bai Ling premiered at Festival de Cannes, and also screened at the American Film Market. This was my most favorite screening yet. It won Best Feature at the New York International Film Festival, and is now being represented by ITN Distribution.
While living in Paris in July 2013, I started making The Green Fairy, a fantasy-documentary about the history of Dan Frank3Absinthe from 1730 to 1915. The interesting part about this one is that I filmed all over the world. I started in Switzerland, then France, then England, and then finally back in the USA. I filmed in New Orleans and Los Angeles. I have a fantastic cast and I plan to premiere it before Mardi Gras 2016 with the help of many local businesses in New Orleans, since that is where Absinthe was first exported to from France. And then The Green Fairy will go to Cannes.

What was the last thing that made you smile?

Answering these questions. It’s nice sometimes to sit back and look at what you’ve accomplished. I know I am far from where I want to be, but I couldn’t be happier doing anything else, meeting and working with the people that I do. I wouldn’t have been able to have done any of this without my family and my very close friends. I love them all.

Cas One [Artist]

Cas OneA couple of months ago we announced that the Trainwreck’d Society Person of 2013 was going to be awarded to a brilliant indie hip hop artist, Alexander Hallet, also known as Bodi.  In the manner we are accustomed to, we went looking for his friends to ask a couple of questions.  One of those said friends was the very Jacob Snider, also known as Cas One.  I had listened to Cas One before, and really dug it.  But, I don’t believe I ever really LISTENED to Cas One.  I’m sure you all understand what I am getting.  But, now I think I have heard him enough to realize that I had really been missing out on a man with a message all this time.  But, hey, we all make mistakes, at least I know better now.

Not so long ago, I discovered a beautiful track released by Sadistik as a free download on a digital album simply titled “Other Songs”.  That track was called “Savior Self”.  After one listen, I realized I just heard what could be considered the super group of some sort of gathering of revolutionaries who are out on the streets doing all they can to keep hip hop relevant.  I mean, sweet shit of christ.  Along with Sadistik we had Bodi, Kristoff Kane, Eyedea (R.I.P.), and…… Cas One.  The last one being the man who stole the show in just a few bars, with some of the finest poetry I have ever heard in lyrical form.  Just look at this:

“This one’s for the vices, the advice I never took
Those stairways I mistook for pages in my notebook
Those old cold looks that grab ahold of soul and shook
Hold my head up while I hold your hand and write my book
Oh look, that crooked little window got some blinds
I never pull em down though, they see straight inside
It’s like we changed minds, still stand in the middle
Don’t know how I keep it, I used to keep it always
Touch hands with ghosts and still walk through these hallways
Keep myself sane with the music on the long days
Seasons still change, I keep a piece of em always
Faces rearrange, they just memories in a crawlspace
They wanna walk the shoes but never learned to tie the lace”

This little bit of genius was absolutely intriguing to me.  But even this pales in comparison to the rest of his work I would soon discover.  His latest album, The Monster and The Wishing Well, is one of the greatest works of hip hop I have heard since, well, Bodi’s The Fall of Atlas.  I guess the main focal loin to get across here is that great company certainly keeps great company.  And whether they are joining forces, or guiding their own path, it is imperative to note that they are absolutely brilliant at what they do.

One of Cas One’s greatest attributes as a songwriter and rapper is his ability to write truly personal and somewhat detailed songs, yet leaves them just a bit open ended enough for the listener to gently place their own personal feelings into the words between the man and his beat.  One needs to look no further than “The X”, a song I stumbled upon on YouTube, that is a perfect example of a life event that too many of us had to deal with with so much haste, all the while doing all we can to remain righteous and continue moving on.  You really need to listen to the song to understand what I am getting here.  This is the type of wonderful song somebody would throw up on their Facebook Timeline with some sort of vague statement aimed at a certain someone.  If you wanted to look even further, which I suggest you do, “The Get Down” from The Monster and The Wishing Well is an even more serious statement on a very serious matter.  In fact, listen to it now:

If you are a fan of truly great hip hop music, Cas One is an artist you should definitely give a listen to.


Pick up some great Cas One tunes at his WEBSITE.